Solidification Of Family Contributing Factors And Obstacles(عوامل و موانع تحکیم خانواده)


When surveying the issue of the solidification ...

When surveying the issue of the solidification of family there is a need to have an analytical look to the nature of the form and the content of the family in the first place. Firstly, family is a human institution, which means it comprises of human individuals. Secondly, family members interact and communicate with each other, which mean family is an institution and a system. Thirdly, family is a social institution, which means it exists within human society with which it communicates and interacts tightly from the perspective of its development, survival and durability, stability and strength and at last growth and dynamism. The three dimensions are the necessary and essential principles concerning solidification of family. As this subject can be brought up and discussed from two different attitudes: the positive and the negative factors in family's solidification, we will start the discussion with human (individual) factors, family (intra-institutional) factors and social (ultra-institutional) factors and then inspect the negative elements relevant to each of these categories.
We should mention that the base for positive factors here are the fixed and definite characteristics and achievements of human life in the individual, family and social spheres. These are according to the system of creation and the external and the human nature which this research has adopted and implemented following the rules and regulations of divine religions in general and the most complete among them i.e. Islam in particular. We will deal with the divergences from this accepted viewpoint when discussing the negative factors.

A) Human (individual) factors:
Development and improvement of human factor in every dimension of personality and education is one of the corner stones of and effective elements in the solidification of family, which is applicable in pre and post stages. The pre stage is before marriage and refers to family and social life before marriage. He post stage would be after marriage.
The formation of personality and the process of education during pre-marriage period, which covers childhood, adolescence and early adulthood, is the base for the different dimensions of how personality emerges through family life. As an explanation, we should say that many irregularities in the families have their origins in deficient personality and education of one or both of the couples. This in turn, emanates from the irregularities in the former families of the couples and their lack of a healthy education and emotional and personality growth needed for entering a center which affection-oriented. The same is true about many of progresses and achievements in the families resulting from strengths and privileges in the personality and the education of the couples. In other words, implementing a correct system for the development of children's personality and their physique based on educational, moral and religious criteria ensures their moral health and their mature personality, which is a requirement for marriage therefore an effective element in the solidification and strength of the family institution. Then, it is necessary to make the best part of our investment and planning into upgrading and advancing the educational objectives and programs for children in social and family spheres and in the following dimensions:

1. Personality and Psyche:
Issues like stability and growth of personality's and the psyche's health in the field of educational sciences and psychology and the higher concepts of self-esteem and moral health within religious culture all witness the most basic principle of the individual and social life of human beings i.e. improvement of personality. Growth and improvement of personality, however, requires respectful and honorable behavior toward children as lack of psychic health and weakness in personality are an outcome of humiliation, intimidation, suppression and other factors that entail psychic complexes and physical deprivations. As an explanation on the primary place of the growth of personality's and the psyche's health in comparison with the secondary position of other human spheres, we should say that every progress and achievement in the educational, moral and religious dimensions depends upon the growth and advancement of this dimension. The reason is that issues like morality, politeness and religion are like material to be built upon this foundation. Personality according to the holy Koran is the base and the cornerstone of education and even belief and religion: "Everyone acts according to his own disposition "
A second point is the basic effect of personality and psyche on the interactions and reciprocal relations within family. Because, on the one hand family is a human institution with affections and commitments at its base and on the other hand, growth and advancement of personality and psychic health provide the ground and are a requisite for the growth of human affections and commitments. At it were, emotional and mental ties besides being dutiful and responsible are an offshoot of a healthy psyche and mature personality. On the contrary, weak people, mean characters and mentalities with a complex will be never ready for excellence of education and developed etiquette, as they are not qualified for being given a responsibility and being treated kindly. The whole range of weaknesses and defects rooted in there disqualifies the person from individual and family perspectives. The foundation of a family built upon such abnormal, incompetent and messy elements would be a weak, abnormal and disrupting base. Therefore, human development in the direction of honor, self-esteem and improvement of physique and personality occupies a principal and essential place within the sphere of effective human factors in the solidification of family.

2. Morals and etiquette:
One of the other effective factors in the solidification of family is morals and etiquette. It includes upbringing and the education of children in etiquette during pre-marriage level and rule of morals and etiquette over family relations after marriage. Morals and rule of moral values form a trustable and valuable basis for starting and continuing of a healthy, dynamic and fruitful family life. Morals consists in virtue-orientation, justice, acting according to expediency, gratefulness, responsibleness, orderliness, respect, observance of personal manners, family values and social norms. Moreover, moral values cover virtues like honesty, loyalty, equity, collaboration, self-abnegation, patience and order. On the other side of the spectrum, people without the aforementioned qualities would be never qualified for marriage and its responsibilities, as they are unable to hold appropriate ties within family and social spheres. Social realities indicate that many of divorces and instances of family breakdown are due to moral abnormalities, frivolity, selfishness, impoliteness and non-commitment of the couples. Consequently, morals and politeness ensure family health and endurance and strengthens inter-personal ties and interactions that culminate in the solidification of family.

3. Religion and Beliefs
Religion strengthens family institution from the perspective of religious belief and piety, religious morals and religious rules and regulations. This factor works on personal and family aspects of the individual by moral and religious education before marriage and by the rule of religious beliefs, morals and regulations after marriage, is one of the effective elements upon the solidification of family. Bringing up religious and pious human beings with the attributes of belief in God, otherworldliness, piety, commitment to religious limits and regulations, practicing religious teachings and rule of the mentioned principles in their family life is a necessary, modern basis for a healthy family and ensures its safety. To elucidate we should say:
Firstly, from the perspective of human insight, religious belief removes intellectual and ideological voids and satisfies human beings' natural and spiritual need for benefiting from a faith. It also directs, motivates and provides for the natural human need for motivation, choice within the sphere of personal deeds and manners an family and social ties and interactions. The result of such wealth of insight is the richness of personality and achievement of mental safety and peace. This is an analysis of piety and pious life, which along with giving significance, moderation and exultation to the personal life it ushers in great accomplishments in the personal and social life of the pious individual.
Secondly, religious morals are Godly, just and otherworldly and are based upon the concepts of piety, commitment and contemplation, rejection of physical indulgence, equity and justice. Religious belief and morals creates such a spiritual and personal capacity in the pious individual that bring health and well-being into the personal and family life of the individual, which are and outcome of attributes like patience, subservience, contentment, reliance on God, modesty, loyalty, equity, order, commitment, etc.
Thirdly, religious rules and regulations supply and assure the necessary and sufficient legal rules and concepts for the formation and continuance of family life.
As such, we can see that religion contains all means and conditions of realizing a healthy, developed, exalted and blissful life. Therefore, rule of religion over individual and communal life from the viewpoint of beliefs, morals and law plus strengthening of a pious life brings about the solidification and reinforcement of family. Quite the opposite, any weakness in religious beliefs and piety entails a weakness in family institution.

4. Sexual qualities and duties:
Sexual features emerge from pre-marriage level's specific education proportionate to the child's sex. They also manifest themselves in acceptance of and the difference between roles both sexes play after marriage and the duties they perform in family. Thus observance of sexual qualities and duties are and strengthening factor in family. As division of labor, roles and functions is an essential and accepted principle in every institution and system, family institution cannot be excluded herein and its survival and endurance depends upon accepting and implementing differences in the field of responsibilities and functions. Man and woman each has its role and function according to its physical and sexual characteristics, which are in precise compliance with their creation and natural abilities. Accordingly, children should receive education defined by their sex as boyish or girlish so that they become ready and responsible for accepting the proportionate roles with their sex and their creation. Consequently, they will have the ability to take their different roles and carry out their special duties in their life after marriage. The forbidden dimension of in this case is failing to differentiate between the roles and duties of men and women and identical upbringing of girls and boys. Mixture and blending together of the education of boys and girls and undifferentiated responsibilities and family functions of man and woman under baseless pretexts such as removing discrimination against women and equal rights of men and women with hard-line feminist motives are among the harmful and disruptive factors for the solidification and strength of family.
To summarize the effective factors in the solidification of family we should thus point at the four basics of personality and psyche, morals and manners, religion and beliefs, and the features and duties of each of the sexes. They are four cornerstones for the foundation of a family that are completely relevant to the human factors of family solidification in pre and post marriage stages. Accordingly, observing the instructions in these spheres and strengthening of them, leads to the reinforcement, and bracing of the family institution. Put differently, the success of the society in rearing exalted human beings who benefit from honor and nobility of character, politeness, good manners and attributes, committed to religious teachings and regulations, disciplined and dutiful are a necessary precondition for the realization of a healthy, solid, developed and blissful family structure. In view of that, weak, immoderate, impolite and undisciplined, uncommitted and loose characters, which are not pious to a religion, would be never appropriate for entering the limits of the affections and the responsibilities of a family.
What comes next, pivots around the axes of family and social factors effective in the solidification of family, which is, a discussion of a list of social and family elements for confirming and strengthening of the two from the perspective of the interaction of family members (intra-institutional) and the ties of family institution with society (ultra-institutional).

A) Factors within a family (intra-institutional)
Since family is a ground for individual interactions and ties, and reciprocal human relations, it is linked to the three notions of proportions, affections and commitments. It means, family is a human institution based upon mutual affections and commitments the solidification of which is connected to interpersonal proportions and similarities. Despite the fact that the origins and the preliminaries of the two tenets of affection and commitment emanate from the personality and educational elements – as illustrated before – the preparatory considerations for their emergence in the process of family life required the provision of some preconditions and clearing of the obstacles. Hence, we divide the intra-institutional factors effective in the solidification of family into three fields of proportions, affections and commitments.

Proportions:
Proportion in the most important aspects of man and woman's existence and the characteristics of their personality is one of the basic notions in the strength and health of the interactions and ties within families. Achieving such proportions before marriage i.e. when choosing and deciding on one's spouse would be necessary. It could be done through considering issues like sameness of the couples' status, similarity in personal and family qualifications and compliant personality, morals and religion. This is while the trend of life after marriage and the fashion couples interact therein should have a boosting and protecting impact upon the proportions. Otherwise, upsetting of proportions will lead to weakened ties and a disrupted trend of life after marriage.
The first must for the formation and endurance of any human ties and relations is the existence of some sort of similarity and commonalities between the two sides of the relation. The greater the common aspects and their depth, the greater would be the endurance and strength of the ties and relations, as any defect with regard to commonalities and points of agreement entails weak and slack ties and relations. Family institution is not an exception here. Regarding the comprehensiveness and multidimensionality of marriage, it necessitates even more dimensions and deeper similarity and compliance. What should be noted here, is that the accepted and common criteria in making a choice and recognizing sameness of couples' status should be original and true standards, not arbitrary virtual yardsticks. Replacement of true principles and concepts with arbitrary ones is a plague and an example of robbery in the choice and decision made on one's spouse that culminates in irremediable damages on the affections and serious injuries to the family ties. What we witness in society nowadays because of the infiltration of corrupt cultures and change of public attitude and taste, is a modification of priorities and replacement of superficial issues and tastes for the real, fundamental and original in all decisions especially decision on choosing one's marriage partner. Giving priority to arbitrary and shallow matters like possessions and affluence, education, physique and appearance, etc instead of original notions like religion, morals, politeness and understanding, piety and worldly virtues, is one of the deviances and damages from which human being's social and family life suffers. The reason is that unrealities never cover the truths of peoples' existence and they do not remove the need for the truths of married life. Truths of life are rooted in the truths of peoples' existence, not the arbitrary and superficial criteria. We could refer here to the following as an example: replacement of the arbitrary criterion of a university degree with the real criterion of understanding and perception, the economic power with economic mind and work and people with a beautiful body and face with the piety, morals and belief of the people. What manifests itself in the process of life are original and rooted matters in the essence and the nature of people, not the arbitrary ornaments and beguiling appearances. Indeed, the pillars of life are raised upon the natural and quintessential aspects of individuals, not temporary titles and subjective issues such as university degree, social status, wealth, beautiful appearance, and the like.
When during married life individual's defects, personality problems, disqualifications and ineligibilities show up, none of the arbitrary titles and indices would fill in the voids of character and their consequences. Therefore, we should be careful to consider the original and true criteria from the point of view of proportions and not pure apparent and subjective ones. Neglect in this would be one of the obstacles to the solidification of family, still less of family breakdown. Accordingly, promotion of authentic yardsticks and permanent values in choosing a marriage partner and observance of sameness of the couples' status along with similarity of their personal and family positions – both in their original form – are among the strengthening factors with regard to family foundations.

2) Affections:
Affections and spiritual ties are an essential component of marriage. It is the same principle the Holy Quran refers to it as "love and mercy" Between man and woman and which is a necessity for the realization of the mental objective of marriage i.e. peace and relief. Thus, tightening of mental ties and adding to kindness and cordiality between the couple brings in emotional and mental benefits and effects along with inclusive strengthening of interactions and ties that culminate in the solidification of family. In accordance with what was mentioned, weak and faulty affections and relations of a couple brings about mental and moral damages, tension, jugged common relations and even imperfect carrying out of duties and functions That lead into the decline and ruin of the foundation of family.
What is worth mentioning and important here is the link between the affections and the proportions. It means there is a direct relation between affections and sameness of the couples' status together with similarity of their personal and family positions. Accordingly, the more the extent of character-based moral and pious proportions and agreements between husband and wife the more it is likely for affectionate and cordial mental ties to emerge, an argument whose opposite would also be true.
With an eye to the discussion above, the issue of choosing a wife or husband based on correct major criteria along with consideration of the sameness of the couples' status and the essential proportions before marriage is completely relevant to the formation, endurance and survival of the couples' internal affections and ties. Watching out for this in the stage before marriage would build up the emotional life of the family and solidify it.
Although the history of a family's emotional life relates to the issues of proportions and sameness of the couples' status, yet there is another relevant factor here in the stage after marriage. We deal with it under the title of "external interferences affecting the emotional relation of the couple". "External interferences" means the factors from outside the family circle that have an impact on the emotional ties of the couple. The group encompasses a wide spectrum of specimens; some of the important ones are listed below:
- Interference of the couple's relatives and acquaintances
- Social interactions especially with the opposite sex
- Media and other means of propaganda and cultural instruments
- The laws on family
- He norms and values of the society
As one of the most basic principles in the solidification of family is strengthening the emotional interactions and mutual ties between the couple, any external factor that weakens this principle and disrupts the emotional life of family cannot help but to be limited and controlled. In traditional families, the interference of relatives and acquaintances serves as an example of weakening meddling into the emotional relations of the couple. This is while, in modern family and social system, the emotional life of families has been damaged, more than anything else, by the maximum presence of women in society under the pretext of education and working, and the unlimited mix of the sexes in society. The latter includes the free confrontation and association with the opposite sex in public fields, which has in turn changed the norm and value system of family and society. The sexually stimulating means of publicity and cultural media has worsened the situation. This complex of multi-dimensional and complicated conditions has posed a question to the principle of family's emotional and sexual qualification through sensual indulgences. In the given situation, family center cannot answer for the heterogeneous bulging emotional and sexual requirements of individuals. As a result, men and women replace social arena for the personal family center to satisfy their extra emotional and sexual needs, which leads to a troubled intra-family relation and the wavering of its functions and effectiveness. What dangerously complicates the issue and completes the ruinous and uprooting mixture is the abuse of some religious rules and teachings such as remarriage (polygamy) and temporary marriage. The action, as a legal and accepted alternative, adds to the mentioned consequences and finishes the disruption and ruin of the foundation of family in a seemingly justified fashion . The outcome of the interlinked chain of plights and damages is weakening, tumbling or even breaking down of families. Therefore, controlling the norms and cultural situation of the society is a major strategy for the solidification of family. Society's culture and norms are among the external factors playing a role in the emotional ties of the couple and we will discuss it in the section of the social (ultra-institutional) factors.

3) Commitments:
One of the cornerstones of family life is reciprocal commitment. Commitments or "rights and duties" are definitely one of the fundamentals of the life and survival of the family. Therefore, family is a commitment-oriented center that is based on legal principles with definite limits and meaning in every legal and social system. In the legal system of divine religions in general and Islam in particular, the principles and laws ruling over the family enjoy the prominent privilege of complying with the creation and natural exigencies of men and women. It means, the legal and religious system ruling family is in proportion and coordination with the natural and sexual exigencies of women and men and the duties assigned to the couple are designed according to their capabilities, even necessary to them. The legal right of living expenditure paid – equal to alimony with the slight difference that the former starts with marriage and continues before divorce – for example, is in accordance with the natural condition of woman including her lesser physical power and her obeying man in sexual matters, pregnancy, breastfeeding a baby, etc.
On the other hand, the role and duties set for woman in the internal affairs of the house are completely proportionate to her nature, natural capabilities and physique. We may even say that woman has relatively the upper hand compared with man when doing them. As we all know, the "relative privilege" is a sensible and economic concept to which Koran refers as "the direction of the way" . Therefore, the rights and duties system of the family as defined by religion and tradition and because of having the privileges of naturalness and sensibility are the most developed efficient legal pattern for the family. Obeying and implementing of this efficient pattern entails the strengthening and solidification of family. Opposed to this original and traditional pattern are the ones offered and instilled by the modern civilization under such titles and motivation as modernizing society, feminism, defending women's right, removing discrimination against women, creating equal economic and social opportunities for women and the like. In such systems woman is driven from her authentic and safe position i.e. within family to the unsafe and difficult social and economic areas in which they define social and economic roles and responsibilities for her. Inculcated with the beguiling appearance of defending women's rights though they promote it, it is in fact imposing a role upon and abusing of woman along with damaging her natural and quintessential rights and innate exigencies. Regardless of the negative consequences it has for woman, this issue upsets the ties and functions within family. The following are among the instances of disruptions woman's having a job makes in the function and the system of the family:
- A weaker role of woman in her family and its serious damage to the education and upbringing of children
- Men's non-commitment to earning family's expenditure and their misuse of women's income
- Instability in the adjustment and acceptance of traditional roles and patterns (e.g., following woman's occupation outside the house, there would be a kind of confusion and undecidedness, even feud and dispute, concerning carrying out of the duties in the house between men and women)
- Faltering commitment to doing family responsibilities and non-commitment to the rights of the spouse – reciprocal rights – that summarizes as "weakening of the legal function of family"
- Waning of emotional ties between the couple and in some instances between parents and children, which translates into "weakening of the emotional function of family"
Thus, we can see the promotion of patterns against the original and traditional models in the field of family rights and duties is one of the obstacles on the way to the solidification of family.

C) Social (ultra-institutional) factors:
The social elements relevant to the solidification of family would be discussed from the three dimensions of "social status", "social security and cultural protection" and "social support":

1) Social status:
Family is an institution constructed upon the grounds of society and is one of its components, and as for the components of a system to be effective they should have a defined exclusive place and function, family institution as a member of society would not be an exception and its efficacy within social system depends upon its exclusive status there. Now if in a society the exclusive function and place of this institution faces instances of marring and weakening of its functions, definition of replacement institutions and parallel establishments, it cannot help but to diminish in its efficacy and social status. In such a situation, family changes from an active, dynamic, and effective element into a passive, unjustifiable, discredited, isolated and even disturbing one. Of course, this is one of the serious plights and damages inflicted on the existence of human society that societies suffer in the process of modernization and to different extents. In traditional societies, family is the basis and essence of social life of humans. It is independent and unchallenged in performing its roles and realizing its functions and there is no other institution as its parallel or replacement. In modern society, however, with the emergence of the new definitions of human being, freedom, law, civilized society and deep interventions in the field of family rights and duties of individuals, the true place and customary functions of the family institution has undergone change and constriction. This is while, the definition and setting up of replacement and parallel institutions has weakened and disparaged the exclusive and specific role of this original institution in providing the human beings with a vast range of their needs. One of the most basic interventions that have led to fundamental changes in the system of families is the issue of woman's occupation and assignment of social and economic duties for her. Creation of new institutions like kindergartens, pensions, nursing homes, training schools, boarding schools, etc is among the social and family consequences and symptoms of this change of attitude toward woman and family.
In other words, the process of these social and family transformations work in a fashion that the cultural necessities of modern civilization beside the principles of humanism and liberalism bring along legal and cultural interventions in family institution. The change in the cultural and legal pattern of family from family-orientation to individualism brings about the weakening of its functions and efficacy. Subsequently, the modern society replaces some institutions with defined functions and duties for the family institution to compensate for what family could have done. Such measures doubly flags and ultimately discredits family in the system of the modern society with making it passive and isolated.
To correct and check this defective circle and as a solution for this predicament facing human society, we should suggest that basically, there is a sort of interconnectedness between the social status of family and he family status of woman. The status of family in society, as it were, depends on the status of woman within family. If woman, as a pivotal element, plays her unique role in the family center and attains her true supreme position and real place; if the family and social regulations and principles reinforce and affirm such status for woman – not to estimate her status and honor according to her social situation – then family would successfully realize its functions and play its fundamental roles within society and solidifies and stabilizes its social position.
Noticing the fact that family is the pivotal element of society, which sees woman as its axis makes it easy and evident to discover and verify the interlinked nature of "social strengthening of family" and "the status of woman within family". Woman's credit within family brings about family's credit within society and her lack of credit produces a discredited family in society. What makes this relation reciprocal and stronger is the impression of society on woman's status and credit in family through the rule of cultural and legal precepts and principles of society upon family institution. Indeed, acknowledging the rights an reinforcing the position of woman in family hinges on social and legal support for her and her unique place and position in family. Subsequently, acknowledging the rights and reinforcing the position of woman in family necessitates a supportive society and law for the stabilization of her principal place, honor and reverence within family and not provocation and encouragement of woman to leave home, to have role in society and be present there. It means, we must seek and stabilize woman's right and status in her family center instead of society. In addition to representing a correct instance of considering and recognizing the rights and status and woman, it serves as a pint of departure in resolving human race's family and social predicaments.
Accordingly, one of the force factors in family is reinforcement of its social status that is impossible except through solidification of woman's place within family based on religious value and law system and by cultural, legal and social backing.

2) Cultural protection and social security:
Family as a unit of society is in full interaction with its surrounding environment. The significant aspect of this interaction from the viewpoint of culture is the effect it has and receives in the field of values and norms, which is related to the issue of "cultural protection and social security". There is a direct link between family's cultural immunity and stability of society in terms of culture and values. Hence, family's social security may be defined as immunity from psychic and emotional plus moral and value damages and threats by society. Instabilities of norms and culture along with campaigns against religion and culture are among the destructive factors of and threats to the cultural security of family. There are a number of issues, which besides representing instances of social damages are among harmful and disrupting agents concerning the social security of family. Some of these factors comprise in promotion of deviant and anti-value beliefs, unrestricted indulgence in morally tabooed areas, social lenience concerning the relation between the sexes, unlimited freedom of social relations, encouraging the maximum presence of women in society, and the issue of lack of Islamic code of dress. Therefore, controlling society in terms of the mentioned issues performs a direct role in cultural protection and social security of family, hence counting as an element of the solidification of family.
It should be mentioned as an analysis that firstly, "beliefs and values" and psychic and emotional safety" are two of the strengthening factors in families and secondly, through the cultural interaction of family and society some of the social factors affect those two spiritual fundamentals of the life of family:
The cultural basis:
Any ideological shakiness and cultural and normal instability within society leads into a shaky and marred ideological and values-related bases of family. It is because family and individuals when considered in terms of the issues of culture and value largely act passively with regard to the ruling conditions of society. In such a situation if an atmosphere of instability and passivity of culture overwhelms and there are incursions against the bases of values and beliefs, family will have no alternative but to suffer shakiness in its roots of values and beliefs. It means, a culturally passive society results in a culturally passive family and accordingly, the disintegration of the society's value and moral system culminates in the same mishap in family that amounts to the lack of cultural security of family against community. This signifies the deep and meaningful connection between "beliefs and values" and psychic and emotional safety".
Subsequently, the realization of the principle of "social stability of culture and norms" produces "family's cultural protection" and is one of the factors solidifying family.
The security basis:
As mentioned before when discussing affection as one of the intra-institutional factors in the solidification of family, one of the upsetting impacts upon the emotional ties of the couple is free and permissive relation of men and women in social areas along with creating emotional and sexual opportunities outside the limits of family. This issue presents a threat to the emotional and sexual security of family by society.
If religious regulations and teachings and its traditions including Hijab and modesty, controlling the social presence of women and the relation between the sexes, are doubted by cultural and ideological aggressions (failure of the principle of "cultural protection and stability of values and culture"), then social damages and unrestricted indulgence in morally and sexually tabooed areas would replace healthy and unharmful relations of the traditional, religion-oriented and pious society. In such a situation, members of the society, including men and women – who have a maximum public presence due to transformation of norms and social coercion – would not be immune from the damages and threats resulting from the ruling immoral, lecherous and lustful social relations. Once the new emotional and sexual associations shape up, they overshadow the emotional and sexual security of family and ruin the principle of the social security of family. When we add up the direct and indirect consequences of failure of the principle of "cultural protection and social security" hitting children to the damages mentioned before, we may say that the collapse of moral and value system and sexual and emotional unsafety are a huge catastrophe and a major scheme. It is a plot that uproots not only the family but it also eradicates the generation, honor and structure in society.

3) Social support:
Social support for family consists in the implementation of the supportive measures in the sphere of culture, economics and law by society that aims at creating a background for preventing damages to families and helping with the injuries when they are suffered. Accordingly, we may say that social support has different cultural, legal and economic dimensions. Meantime, provision of social support is possible and necessary in the two groups of preliminary (pre-emptive) and supplying (compensatory) measures.
By preliminary (pre-emptive) measures, we mean the support by society that prevent damages and disruptions and prepare an eligible social groundwork for the strengthening and solidification of family institution. On the other hand, in case of the occurrence of family damages, treatment of injuries and providing supply and compensation of the impairments present another dimension of social support for family. As mentioned before, the two backup measures by society could be discussed from the following perspectives:

1- cultural-spiritual support
As we have already pointed out, the necessary precondition and suitable groundwork for social support to be materialized are cultural stability and the rule of fixed and defined concepts in the sphere of culture, which translates into a comprehensive theoretical and practical tradition in society. Once this basis is prepared, we would need to turn to promulgation of programs and approaches as well as producing a culture on that basis for family, i.e. cultural support for family. The latter encompasses promotional and educational aids for the proliferation of family culture, prevention of damages and disturbances in the system of family and spiritual contribution for the afflicted families.
- The promotional and educational support:
The objective here is the cultural proliferation of family and creating a culture and cultural basis for encouraging the right ties in families. A related subject would be preventing damages through education of families by media and cultural apparatus and offering consultation to families in specialized centers that would be helpful and essential in the following areas:
1. Introduction of the correct criteria for choosing a spouse
2. Teaching the needed skills for leading a married life
3. Providing training concerning appropriate plans and methods for dealing with (emotional, economic …) crises in life
4. Teaching how to bring up a child
- Spiritual support
Spiritual support against family damages and for damaged families is discussable in the areas including women with maladjusted and ill-tempered husbands and the families suffering from wife and child battering as well as abnormalities of behavior and manners. Meantime, cultural and spiritual support for women administering a family is an instance of social aid and one of the solidifying factors of family.

2- Legal and judicial support:
The rule of an efficient legal and judicial system in connection with family affairs can be counted in as a social support for family institution and a guaranty for the consolidation of family. A comprehensive and practical legal and judicial system not only acts preemptively to help and strengthen the structure of family, it also prevents the recurrence of damages and its consequent aftershocks by its legal and judicial backing for the subject of damage or crime when they take place in connection to family. The following are the indices of an effective legal system :

I: Compliance and coordination of the system with the cultural and social status quo:
The law should be in accordance with cultural customs and social norms. On the other side, the social and cultural situation of the family and individuals should reinforce and legitimize the law of the society. Put differently, in every system the law should be based on the values and cultural principles and customs of that system. Understanding this depends on perceiving the link and interconnection of the situation of and the ties in the human society and an organic systematic view of its apparently dissimilar segments.
That is the reason why a legal set of rules obtained from a religious and traditional system would be impractical in a modern society with a phobia of tradition and religion. Therefore, once a society distances itself from its authentic traditions and religious principles in the family, cultural and social areas, a law founded on traditional and religious bases would not be eligible and will not satisfy the terms and conditions of that society. Such society cannot help but to modify the fundamentals of the law and religion that is in turn an instance of heresy. Under the pretext that regulations can no longer respond to the current needs – which is surely true because of the radical changes in the sphere of culture and social norms – legal qualifications become inevitable. For example, if girls' an women's occupation and money-making is promoted – which is an issue of public culture and social norm – and a large portion of vacancies and economic opportunities is literally taken by women, placing them at equal level with or even further above men in terms of professional opportunities and outcome, there would be a contradiction of the legal principle of "alimony for woman" and man's duty of providing a living for his wife and children. Such contradiction would render the legal principle useless and would finally close its practice down. Accordingly, with regard to the interconnection of the social norms and cultural affairs of a society and its legal system, cultural stability and the rule of an authentic cultural system is an essential cornerstone for founding a legal system proportionate to the values and beliefs and makes it more efficacious and enduring. Thus, "relation and coordination of the system with the cultural and social status quo" is one of the force factors in the efficiency of a legal system that is in turn dependent upon cultural stability and the rule of an original system of values and beliefs over every aspect of culture and society.
- Protection of judicial law through enactment
- The pre-emptive and deterrent effect of legal and judicial instructions
- Concentration and emphasis on points of damage and social predicaments as well as carrying out a controlling and supporting role when there is a crisis
As for the latter, the society after in time diagnosis of the instances of damage, should pass and implement the legal and judicial regulations necessary for preventing and removing the harms. For example, in case a society encounters the problem of family abnormalities, which are among the major reasons behind divorce, because of the malfunctioning of the cultural and social divisions, then the legal and judicial system has to define rule proportionate to the problem and its consequences and put them into practice. By so doing the mentioned sectors carry out their supporting and controlling role regarding the instances of damage with sufficient protection from the Administration.
Therefore, we can see that a legal and judicial structure with the aforementioned features would solidify family with playing its pre-emptive and controlling role in the legal dimension in addition to functioning effectively when giving support and provisions in the judicial dimension.

3- Economic support
In the cultural arena, cultural stability is a prelude and prerequisite for cultural support of family and in the legal sphere, efficacy of the legal system is an essential premise for proving the family with legal help. Accordingly, in the economic area, the efficiency and stability of the economic system is a first must and precondition for the financial support of the family. The reason is that instability and irregularities of economics in a society culminates in damage and wobbliness of the economic status of family and the weakening of its financial might. Uncontrolled economy, booming inflation, using various economic systems, which are occasionally opposing, by trial and error along with oscillating economic sectors strike irreversible fatal blows to the family's economy. They on the one hand compromise the survival and endurance of family and prevent the formation of future families on the other. Consequently, a solid and powerful economic system in society is a necessary basis for reinforcement and consolidation of the economic abilities of family and is an element effective in its formation and endurance. Realization of those conditions provides the grounds for the economic support of the family.
Another dimension of the economic aid to family is financial backup when the monetary situation of families weakens. It is possible and crucial through monetary aids and allotting pensions for the families with a weak and vulnerable living condition as well as the women who run their family. Other areas to provide financial help to the families would be the housing sector – through granting the young couples and the general public easy access to inexpensive home – plus creating sufficient jobs and distributing them fairly. What was mentioned plus negligence as to family expenses and housing, and failure to prepare a suitable social groundwork is one of the obstacles facing the formation and consolidation of family.
Consequently, we may conclude that social support for family institution in the cultural, legal and living areas has an enormous impact on the strengthening of the foundations of family and the issue of social support along with the two principles of social status and security covers the interrelated prestige of family and society in a correct and modern fashion.
Now we can summarize poised issues as follows:
We discussed the solidification factors of family the three individual, family and social arenas. The individual elements were personality and psyche, morals and etiquette, religion and beliefs, and sexual qualities and duties. Among these, personality is the most basic individual factor in a manner that morals, religion and duties shape up on upon the foundation of personality and an underdeveloped personality would not bear the fruits of ethics, politeness, religion and commitment. Therefore, in the individual factors' sphere, the key and most essential element effective in the solidification of family is educating humans based on honor, and exaltation of personality. In the field of family factors, we brought up the principles of proportions, affections and commitments and pointed out the fundamental role of the concept of "sameness of the couples' status, similarity in personal and family qualifications and compliant personality", which is based on original and real criteria and not the apparent and subjective yardsticks. Then, observing the mentioned concept along with proportions when choosing a life partner is the most significant individual and family dimension. The reason is that before marriage, it guarantees the emotional life of the future couples and satisfies their need for love. Another influential factor in the relation of the couple after marriage, which was discussed, was interventions from outside the family.
Regarding family obligations or the legal system and duties, the traditional and religious pattern received priority when compared with the modern example because of its privileges of being innate and natural as well as being oriented upon intellectual grounds. The promotion and emphasis on this developed model in society would lead to the solidification of family.
In addition, we elaborated on the social factors effective in the consolidation of family that we divided into social status, social security and social support. The modern civilization with its cultural and legal meddling in the affairs of family institution and transforming the legal and value prototype for family from family-orientedness toward individualism has brought about the weakening of functions and efficiency of family that culminates in its lower social status. Return to authentic and religious customs and values in addition to construction of the system of family rights and duties upon the divine creed mean efficacy and solidification of the social status of family as an institution. Moreover, the realization and elucidation of the necessary link between "the social status of family" and "the status of woman in family" is one the most significant issued we discussed and is a key to unlock the deadlock of faltering and weakening place of the institution of family in modern society. Strengthening and consolidating the position of woman within family, as it were, according to the religious legal and value framework brings in the solidification and stability of the family's place in society, which is in turn a strengthening factor for family.
The social security of family unit hinges on the cultural protection of community against aggressions to ideology and values and the realization of the principle of stability of culture and norms as well as social commitment to the original traditions and values. The reason is that cultural passivity entails its sameness in family and an eventual shaky emotional and psychological foundation for family. Therefore, stabilizing and solidifying the fundamentals of our ideology and values in the areas of public culture, social relations and cultural protection of society ensures the social security of family. Society's cultural, legal, economic support for preparation and prevention purposes is both possible and essential. The prerequisite for enjoying cultural support is family's obligation to follow its original and modern traditions such as the religious one. Ignoring this principle under the void pretext of passage from tradition to modernism and development would strike deadly blows to the safety of family. It can be seen across the so-called developing societies that are "passing" to modernism where overlooking the mentioned principle has led to serious damages even complete breakdown of the institution of family. When the pre-condition for social support is attained, we would need the promotion of the necessary programs and methods and forming a culture on the bases the principles concerning family culture, a second foundation stone for social support of family.
Having a practical legal-judicial system regarding family is an instance of society's help to family. One of the most crucial indices of an efficient legal system is its compliance with the cultural and social structure. A workable and fair economic system is also a cornerstone for promises of economic help and financial sustenance to family to come true.
By analyzing the mentioned factors in the individual, family and social spheres, we come to the critical and influential, even the most critical and fundamental, principle in the solidification of family that is the customs, culture and value system ruling the individual, family and society. We singled out education and creation of a personality as the most principal element when discussing individual factors. Here, we should acknowledge that the former has its roots in the value and cultural system. We highlighted the issue of sameness of the couples' status among the family factors when choosing a marriage partner as well as respecting proportions as the most significant individual and family dimensions of based on true principles and criteria and we said it was the foundation for all emotional and legal ties within family. What should be added here, though, is that the realization of what we mentioned depends on creating culture and implementing a developed system of norms and values. We reemphasized the role of culture and tradition in the arena of social elements regarding the social status of family and its being interconnectedness with the place woman according to the religious legal and value system. We considered the social security of family, as well, linked to the cultural immunity of family and accession to cultural and normal stability along with commitment of society to the customs and values. We presented cultural support through obligation to an original and developed tradition, culture-creation and adopting cultural plans and approaches rooted in definite rules and precepts when discussing social support. From the legal supports viewpoint, we raised the fundamental topic of the relation of cultural groundwork with legal concepts and systems and emphasized its impact on the efficiency of the mentioned legal system. We also emphasized the issue of cultural stability and the rule of an authentic and modern cultural system as a prerequisite for the efficiency of the legal system. Then we turned to economic support where the principle of economic justice is a value and cultural matter. As a justification of the complete and multi-faceted relevance of culture, customs, and the system of values and norms, it suffices to know that restrictions derived from accepted norms as deterrents as well as customs and etiquette as obligations provide a cornerstone for all family and social relations and solidify social ties and institutions. Therefore, consolidation of family requires the strengthening of the mentioned bases and the all-encompassing and deep obligation of society, individuals and families to the developed and original traditions such as religious ones plus promoting an ideological and value system. Otherwise, social-cultural elements including social stability and balance, public trust, peace and security cannot be achieved and their merits do not emerge and continue existence. Indeed, ignorance of and deviance from these principles brings about the collapse of cultural and social institutions such as family.
We can conclude that cultural obstacles i.e. anti-values and anti-norms are the most important barriers hindering the solidification of family. Among the evident examples of the obstacles – which are unfortunately represented in the modern civilization as a value based on rootless justifications – are the issue of social presence and occupation of women and defining economic and social roles for them. That, according to our past discussion, leads into disruptions and damages to the life of individuals, family and society along with upsetting the balance of society and family from the viewpoint of law, culture, security and economics. Hence, we may consider this process as an anti-value and a disrupting influence on the solidification of family.
We reiterate the need to return to the principle of "woman's status in family" based on religious rights and its modern precepts as well as with reliance on motherly and womanly roles for woman as one of the most important solidification factors of family. In other words, the change in cultural paradigms and transformations of values, which entail social irregularities and cultural instabilities are the red line for cultural interactions. Because of the consequences of this phenomenon for family in emotional, educational, legal and sustenance-related dimensions that bring along an inefficient family institution, the issues of cultural instability and social irregularities are the major obstacle before family consolidation.
As a conclusion we could say, regarding the primary place of culture and traditions when referring to solidification of family, and the fact that the most developed and comprehensive among cultures and traditions are the religious culture and divine traditions, protection of religious values and restrictions along with commitment to its judicious teachings and customs, in short obligation to a religion, is an excellent and fundamental strategy for supplying the spiritual and cultural life of people and societies that also ensures the strength and solidity of family. Accordingly, neglecting the utmost and most inclusive treasure of human beings i.e. divine religion and traditions would mean the loss of spiritual achievements and cultural bases effective in the advancement of humans' individuals, family and social life.
To summarize, strength of family structure deriving form obligation to "the right religion " with an honest and monotheistic approach is the key to the settlement of troubles facing human society.
We finish with the word of God that says, "So set thy purpose (O Muhammad) for religion as a man by nature upright - the nature (framed) of Allah, in which He hath created man. There is no altering (the laws of) Allah's creation. That is the right religion, but most men know not – "